haiz...today nvr go church again....already 3 or 4 weeks in a row nvr go...
i jst find no reason 2 live anymore....something told me yesterday when i was praying...
"y u keep on praying only...it's like ur talking 2 a blank wall or something...."
when i taught abt it....it is sort of true....sometimes when i pray 2 God....i dont even noe if God has answer my prayer or not...sometimes God has answer my prayers but i just dont noe when....
b4 tis....tht same question jst keeps coming 2 my head.....
but i just ignored it cse i had the passion 2 hear wht God has 2 say 2 me.....so i didnt care....
but one time in church.....i felt so left out....n i started not 2 go 2 church....n tht passion jst *poof* away...
now i'm tinking of all the things i can do when i'm not in church....
n even when i go 2 church...wht's the point??
all i go there is jst play drums 4 the children church...take care of the 'special children' class....
go 2 sing worship n praises.....go talk wit frens.....
n when i'm praising God....all my frens r like jst staring at the screen....doing nothing......
some of them lagi chunted.....go sms n some of them even talk on the phone....
n a voice inside me just keeps saying
"tink abt it la....if u dont go 2 church...u can wake up at 12 p.m instead of 7a.m...
but i just dont giv a dam abt it.....cse i noe tht voice is the voice of the devil....
i wish tht some1 would help me....tinking there's no reason 2 live is like living in a cage....
i wish tht i can noe wht's my purpose for living....y God has put me here on earth....
n i just wish tht i'll noe wht God is trying 2 say 2 me....cse wht inspires me 2 noe God more is my 2 brothers....n now tht they r gone....my inspiration 2 noe God more is gone....
i wish tht some1 would help me....my frens wouldn't listen 2 me....mayb some of them tink tht i'm posting tis 2 get attention.....but wht i am posting here it's true.....
i just don't noe wht 2 do now.....
i jst find no reason 2 live anymore....something told me yesterday when i was praying...
"y u keep on praying only...it's like ur talking 2 a blank wall or something...."
when i taught abt it....it is sort of true....sometimes when i pray 2 God....i dont even noe if God has answer my prayer or not...sometimes God has answer my prayers but i just dont noe when....
b4 tis....tht same question jst keeps coming 2 my head.....
but i just ignored it cse i had the passion 2 hear wht God has 2 say 2 me.....so i didnt care....
but one time in church.....i felt so left out....n i started not 2 go 2 church....n tht passion jst *poof* away...
now i'm tinking of all the things i can do when i'm not in church....
n even when i go 2 church...wht's the point??
all i go there is jst play drums 4 the children church...take care of the 'special children' class....
go 2 sing worship n praises.....go talk wit frens.....
n when i'm praising God....all my frens r like jst staring at the screen....doing nothing......
some of them lagi chunted.....go sms n some of them even talk on the phone....
n a voice inside me just keeps saying
"tink abt it la....if u dont go 2 church...u can wake up at 12 p.m instead of 7a.m...
but i just dont giv a dam abt it.....cse i noe tht voice is the voice of the devil....
i wish tht some1 would help me....tinking there's no reason 2 live is like living in a cage....
i wish tht i can noe wht's my purpose for living....y God has put me here on earth....
n i just wish tht i'll noe wht God is trying 2 say 2 me....cse wht inspires me 2 noe God more is my 2 brothers....n now tht they r gone....my inspiration 2 noe God more is gone....
i wish tht some1 would help me....my frens wouldn't listen 2 me....mayb some of them tink tht i'm posting tis 2 get attention.....but wht i am posting here it's true.....
i just don't noe wht 2 do now.....
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